#midWeekTease with Lottie and an interrogation

so no book cover of course as I'm only 40K in but...

Just has to come from #LottiesStory. Working title the Transformation of Lottie Botte.

Set in glorious Devon. Lottie's husband is no more...

(I am so glad about that he is a waste of space)

~~~~ ‘It’s going to be interesting who comes in to be nasty and who comes in to buy,’ Lottie said. ‘I’d take bets on Lesley and Faye to be nosy, Mrs Cherry to buy and half the village just to gossip.’

‘That’s being nosy.’

 ‘True but not vindictive and I’d wager my glass of wine that Faye and Lesley will be that.’

 ‘They sound a nice pair,’ Lou said. ‘Can we put a notice that only nice people allowed? No bitches, cows or arses.’

 ‘Well as we can all be bitches, cows and oh my yes, arses at times,’ Bryony said. ‘Even me, though that’s hard to believe...Lottie Monk stop sniggering, how rude, you know I’m sweetness and light. But if we banned all those that would be no customers.’

Lottie sniggered even louder. ‘Oh so t...true...’ she spluttered. ‘All of it.’

‘You said it.’ Bryony high fived Lottie, whose jawed had dropped at the triumphant gesture.

‘Catching flies, Lottie?’

Lottie rolled her eyes. ‘Seems so. I need to practice my angelic but dumb, no idea what you mean Faye or whoever look when they start.’

‘Just revert for five minutes but with no sneer. That’ll fox ‘em.’

Lottie practised whilst they finished off what needed doing with a lot of comments—both ribald and not—and by the time they were ready to leave she ached with laughing.

‘Whether they come in or not, we’re ready for everything, and if they want to be uppity sod em,’ Lottie said. ‘I’ll clout them, accidentally of course, with a Laboutin or a Kate Spade handbag filled with something heavy.

‘Just look down your nose, ask why they aren’t being ethical and ecological and didn’t they know Re-shops are all the rage,’ Lou said later as Maddie locked the door behind them, and they decided half an hour in the Red Pig garden would be acceptable before they all went their separate ways. ‘And if they get stroppy, tell them they aren’t classy enough to shop there.’

‘Lou,’ Lottie said, aghast whilst Bryony and Maddie laughed and high fived. ‘I wouldn’t dare.’

 ‘I would,’ Bryony said. ‘I hope they come in on one of my days. I’ll take great pleasure in telling them the place is monitored and the stuff all security tagged as it belongs to people with class who believe in the recycle tag.’

‘Go on,’ Lottie said. ‘Show us how.’

‘Sort of...’ Bryony lifted her chin and dropped her eyelids so she peered down her nose. ‘Well, if you don’t understand, of course...some people aren’t up to it.’ She reverted to her usual stance. ‘There you go. I bet you’ll be doing it without me showing you before long,’ Bryony said as she pushed open the gate to the Red Pig beer garden. ‘You’ll find your inner ‘time to be bitchy’ guru and use her to the full. Or something. Talking about which, well not really but I need an answer cos I’m nosy, what was a certain one Ms Monk doing in a sports car, with the top down, no headscarf on and her hair blowing in the breeze like a shampoo advert. I quote there. I am also reliably told, said car was driven by what we women call a hottie. Both Ms Monk and the unknown driver, were, it is reported, laughing and could hardly take their eyes off each other, except the male had to keep his eyes on the road. This took place on the edge of Dartmoor and both occupants, i.e. Ms Monk and A, N other were very engrossed with each other. So engrossed they didn’t even notice my beloved, and his van, or respond to the toot sent in their direction. My beloved also wondered why they had not, in his own words got a bed and got it out of their systems, or at least got a head start on what gripped them.’

‘What?’ Lou and Maddie said together as they turned to Lottie.

She grinned. ‘I wondered that myself.’

‘C’mon, spill.’ Maddie said. ‘A hot hottie, or just a hottie, Bry?’

‘Well,’ Bryony said. ‘This is second hand and via a bloke at that so I can’t be sure. But maybe the lady in question can answer that?’

‘It’s going to be interesting who comes in to be nasty and who comes in to buy,’ Lottie said. ‘I’d take bets on Lesley and Faye to be nosy, Mrs Cherry to buy and half the village just to gossip.’

‘That’s being nosy.’

 ‘True but not vindictive and I’d wager my glass of wine that Faye and Lesley will be that.’

 ‘They sound a nice pair,’ Lou said. ‘Can we put a notice that only nice people allowed? No bitches, cows or arses.’

 ‘Well as we can all be bitches, cows and oh my yes, arses at times,’ Bryony said. ‘Even me, though that’s hard to believe...Lottie Monk stop sniggering, how rude, you know I’m sweetness and light. But if we banned all those that would be no customers.’

Lottie sniggered even louder. ‘Oh so t...true...’ she spluttered. ‘All of it.’

‘You said it.’ Bryony high fived Lottie, whose jawed had dropped at the triumphant gesture.

‘Catching flies, Lottie?’

Lottie rolled her eyes. ‘Seems so. I need to practice my angelic but dumb, no idea what you mean Faye or whoever look when they start.’

‘Just revert for five minutes but with no sneer. That’ll fox ‘em.’

Lottie practised whilst they finished off what needed doing with a lot of comments—both ribald and not—and by the time they were ready to leave she ached with laughing.

‘Whether they come in or not, we’re ready for everything, and if they want to be uppity sod em,’ Lottie said. ‘I’ll clout them, accidentally of course, with a Laboutin or a Kate Spade handbag filled with something heavy.

‘Just look down your nose, ask why they aren’t being ethical and ecological and didn’t they know Re-shops are all the rage,’ Lou said later as Maddie locked the door behind them, and they decided half an hour in the Red Pig garden would be acceptable before they all went their separate ways. ‘And if they get stroppy, tell them they aren’t classy enough to shop there.’

‘Lou,’ Lottie said, aghast whilst Bryony and Maddie laughed and high fived. ‘I wouldn’t dare.’

 ‘I would,’ Bryony said. ‘I hope they come in on one of my days. I’ll take great pleasure in telling them the place is monitored and the stuff all security tagged as it belongs to people with class who believe in the recycle tag.’

‘Go on,’ Lottie said. ‘Show us how.’

‘Sort of...’ Bryony lifted her chin and dropped her eyelids so she peered down her nose. ‘Well, if you don’t understand, of course...some people aren’t up to it.’ She reverted to her usual stance. ‘There you go. I bet you’ll be doing it without me showing you before long,’ Bryony said as she pushed open the gate to the Red Pig beer garden. ‘You’ll find your inner ‘time to be bitchy’ guru and use her to the full. Or something. Talking about which, well not really but I need an answer cos I’m nosy, what was a certain one Ms Monk doing in a sports car, with the top down, no headscarf on and her hair blowing in the breeze like a shampoo advert. I quote there. I am also reliably told, said car was driven by what we women call a hottie. Both Ms Monk and the unknown driver, were, it is reported, laughing and could hardly take their eyes off each other, except the male had to keep his eyes on the road. This took place on the edge of Dartmoor and both occupants, i.e. Ms Monk and A, N other were very engrossed with each other. So engrossed they didn’t even notice my beloved, and his van, or respond to the toot sent in their direction. My beloved also wondered why they had not, in his own words got a bed and got it out of their systems, or at least got a head start on what gripped them.’

‘What?’ Lou and Maddie said together as they turned to Lottie.

She grinned. ‘I wondered that myself.’

‘C’mon, spill.’ Maddie said. ‘A hot hottie, or just a hottie, Bry?’

‘Well,’ Bryony said. ‘This is second hand and via a bloke at that so I can’t be sure. But maybe the lady in question can answer that?’~~~

Catch all the other #MidWeekTease posts here

Happy Reading,

Katy x